For me it is never the war I fight each day with my son with autism actually any of my kids to help them become the people they would be most happy with in life. It is the daily little things that we work on that we don’t let drop that we can’t drop the ball on that I have seen create in him the knowledge of what is and is not going to be accepted by others.
Last night we were doing a spelling test and Bird really enjoys calling out the number on his page that corresponds to the number on the spelling test. He actually memorizes all of the first 5-6 words in the spelling test so it’s almost moot to call them out except that this is me pretending that I am the teacher who would not know that Bird has a limited photographic memory.
We got to #10 on the list of words printed for that week but for him it was #9 for where he was going to write the word and he and I went back and forth for a minute that it was #9 no #10. I asked him to read the words he had on the page and noted aloud that he skipped a word.
The idea that he had missed a word upset him and be stood up to throw out the paper in annoyance. I told him to sit down and write the word he missed and that we would both be on the same number again with the next word he had to spell. He lamented a few times that it would not be perfect and that this was not okay he needed to throw out the paper and start over.
I stated that he would need to sit down and keep working on that sheet or I would not give him the test and he will not have completed his homework.
He acquiesced and we moved on. While a fairly trivial thing these moments of needing to be perfect trip up the typical children as well. The deal is that sometime you just have to push through and finish then go back if you have time. Perfect is not something most of us will have the time for in life and that is okay.