Today is the day after I resigned from 6 years of work in the autism community attempting to help truly undeserved and very deserving families create a life for their kids like everyone else s (to almost coin the ARC ….by the way I don’t like the current head of the NoVA ARC by the way as she felt the need to hijack the political attention on the home for autism like it was her damn business…Nancy Mercer…lots of political ambitions oozing out of her).
I left PVBIA (POAC-NoVA’s Verbal Behaviors Instructors Academy) a group I founded and sadly named. Yes, yes I know it sounds like and STD but I was so excited about having a little money at poac to help our families I never though about how non-eloquent it was or many other things I should have considered before embarking on such a loft goal with almost no college credits and lots and lots of experience in dentistry and emergency medicine. I have never been one to look before I leap so I hope those I attempted to help remember almost all I did was out of the shear desire to see happier kids with autism and happier marriages of their parents.
I did have some really great memories of kids who’s lives are now better because mom and dad learned how to work with them! I have heard so many lovely stories about kids who now have friends because of our program. Further I know of wonderful people who now work with kids with autism successfully because of our program so good was done here!
With all the great things that were accomplished and the wonderful kids that were helped the stress of wanting desperately to help 600 families with almost no help at all was breath taking and heart pounding.
Now for the self indulgent mental masturbation of why I left POAC not necessarily in order of intensity! I am only omitting 1 item from this list so here goes:
1. More actual time for my kids and husband. I worked on average 20 hours a week on poac and being unpaid was more than fine after 11 years of working free as an EMT but some weeks were closer to 50 hours and others just 8 hours a week of emails and phone calls.
2. Fewer nightmares. I actually had bad dreams about a little boy who’s name is Ian C who’s parent have a pretty big rep for locked him in his room for 6-7 hours a day (not just sleeping hours folks) completely ignored and neglected and CPS did nothing! I really hate having to know people do this to their kids and see them week after week. I much prefer not to have any evidence that you suck as much as most people thought you did simply based on the obvious so that I can sleep at night not feeling a party to one more crappy parent…and I have a list!
3. Fighting the assholes on the list serv part 1. We have so many people just dying to find the magic bullet they ignore the one known medication to have an affect!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ABA!!!!!!!!!!!! POAC-NoVA’s mission states that it was created to provide information on Scientifically Proven Methodologies!!!!!!!! WHY SCOTT OH WHY FRANK are we leading our parents to hurt their children with untested and unproven crap????????? I am embarrassed that the asshole parents on the POAC list serv don’t simply use their own list serv to proliferate untested/bankrupting crap! OH OH and as a former EMT who used hyperbarics for people suffering from hemoglobin issues WHEN YOU GO BACK INTO ROOM AIR YOUR BODY DOES NOT CONITUE TO HYPER OXYIGINATE…you idiots!***read my Cancer blog found on pvbiamomma
4. The premise that the school should fix your child has also annoyed the crap out of me! I have said this more than 1,000 times the school has your child for less than 30 hours a week and that leaves you with 108 hours of waking time to TEACH your child! WHY oh WHY do people believe someone who is being paid by them or the county is going to fix their child when they WILL NOT put in the effort? PEOPLE KNOW when you are not doing the work! PEOPLE CAN TELL when you are failing your child! YES, IT IS YOU! This is of course not all of our parents but I have to say with much more experience than I ever wanted it is a good 60%!
5. People blaming ME for their child’s lack of success! ***read bla blablame game blog found on pvbiamomma
6. Being part of a board with people who SHOULD NOT be role models for our parents! Some of our board have parents who have worked HARD on their kids! I can say in good faith that almost all of our current board has put in long hours working with their child but Scott and maybe another board member (not Frank who is a good father despite his support of biomedical which is so much more than the diet!!!! and you should be warned that people will waste money and time on this bullshit). I am embarrassed beyond words that we allow people who do not practice what we preach in teaching our kids and ourselves to do the best we can and be the parents we want to see in the world of autism!
7. I have a list of parents I dest mostly because the whine the loudest and do the least so here are first only
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAHAHAHHAAHHAHHAHAHH I do have a list…but in my head. Suffices to say many of the parents with the LEAST control over their kids have the most to say on our list serv!
I will miss so many parents that I plan to have a monthly coffee likely at Wegman’s but ONLY with the ones I like! The rest can take a flying leap and go blame someone other poor poac victim for their lack of success. I AM DONE!
okay, likely I am not done. but I am taking off 3 years to go back to school. I will continue to blog about my dearest Bird, Peep and Herd with snippets about the mutant I love and occasionally loath and married as Bird’s journey has another 7 hard years ahead and I want people to learn from our journey.
Best to Most…but not all!