Bla Bla Blame Game…HUGE RANT do not read unless you dare

originally posted 7/1/10

For parents who think ABA does not work.  For parents who think the teacher/therapist/anyone else is going to fix their kid.  For those who firmly point the finger in your direction because their child with autism is getting WORSE …actually MUCH WORSE not better….I would like to submit ……..drum roll please………..THE LOVAAS STUDY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The rat is not wrong and your child will have success if YOU….YES YOU….STOP TELLING PEOPLE HOW HARD YOU WORK AND ACTUALLY DO IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I AM SO DAMN SICK of being the escape goat for people who believe that taking a class means your child will have success!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  YOU MISSED THE POINT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  NO CLASS , NO PILL and NOT ALL THE HBOT in the WORLD will fix your child.

YOU have to do the work!  YOU have to STOP telling everyone how hard it is! SHUT UPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!

We all had to do it if our kids are successful!!!!!!!!!!!   YOUR CHILD IS NOT ANY HARDER THAN MINE unless they have a dual diagnosis in which case you should still do the work!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Actually today at camp my son with autism was a little shit!  He lied, took a pad of paper, cried to attempt controlling a teacher who was smarter than he wanted her to be and overall did not understand his role!  Does this mean I suck as a parent?????????????  NO (my opinion…not yours), it means he had a bad day.  LOADS of kids had a hard day at camp, school, friends house, the pool and other places today.  I had an awful day Monday….we are people NOT robots!

HOWEVER, his loss of privileges from the minute I saw him until he went to bed sent the message that he would be better for tomorrow night would be spend in his room alone something we almost NEVER do as it is cruel to isolate.

IF your child is hitting, running, not listening, not complying, escaping, screaming, pushing and head butting there is a solution……………………………………………..(more drum rolls) CONSISTENT, Relentless, ever present effort.

If your child is not making stride YOU not anyone else should make changes!  Start by evaluating what you are doing to promote better behavior and put bad behavior on extinction.

YES, some teachers suck and some therapist suck and many BCBA’s suck BUT YOU are the only person who matters in this article!  YOU are the touchstone of failure and success!!!!!!!!!!!!! JUST YOU.

I had NO Consultant to BLAME, NO PVBIA Momma to attack, NO therapist (except Lesley would I worked with cooperatively for 6 of 7 years) to accuse!

SO YOU OUT THERE in,”WHY is he acting like that?” “I can’t get him to______ fill in the blank.” “He won’t________fill in the blank”” I just don’t think ABA works because I can never get him to___________fill in the blank” YOU ARE WRONG….IT IS YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

Your child barely verbal or chatty Kathy CAN and SHOULD be compliant for the most part unless they have a severe dual diagnosis!  YES, I am just a momma not a neurologist but I have seen enough to know the truth as we have barely verbal EXTREMELY COMPLIANT kids that I KNOW….IT IS YOUR LACK OF FOLLOW THROUGH, YOUR LACK OF EFFORT, YOUR LACK OF NOT WALLOWING IN SELF PITY…suck it up…you likely don’t have autism and should really knock it off!  GET OFF YOUR ASS and WORK if you want to see change and if not than SHUT UP!  Nobody and I mean not even your mother wants to hear you piss and moan about how hard it is!

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