A few years ago I was running a program called PVBIA Beginner where we trained parents and novices on how to do ABA with their children and others children with autism. This is a best I remember the story as it was like 3 years ago.
A momma named Manju (who told me long ago I could use her name) was in the program. She worked hard to become Valedictorian of her class and below is a story that reflects part of how she was the best of the best.
Manju’s son had a real problem with control and the desire to eat McDonald’s french fries (I have the same problem but at 45 few people can stop my behavior =) ). Each time Manju would drive past a McDonald’s that her son was in sight of he would kick the chair in front of him (usually his mom’s seat in the car) and scream about McDonald’s and cry and pull hair. Manju was looking for ways to navigate around to not pass McDonald’s to avoid this problem.
I believe in class one day she heard a truth that struck in Oprah’s words like a light bulb moment (again this is my memory of the events…ask Manju for the whole truth). YOUR CHILD WILL ONLY GET STRONGER, BIGGER, AND MORE COMBATIVE NOW IS THE TIME TO ACT IF YOU WANT AN EASIER LIFE….likely said by Lesley, Justine or Jennah.
This concept that her child would not become more compliant over time WITHOUT action was a stinging truth and she needed to do something now!
She dedicated (and I mean dedicated) 5 days to getting rid of his need to control going to McDonald’s on site. Manju drove him to McDonald’s 10 times a day every day for 5 days!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Can you imagine! She reminds me of me in my Battle at the Gym blog! What a pain fest!
She would drive over, by and up to McDonald’s and ignore his bad behavior telling him BEFORE they left that he needed to behave or he would not get what he wanted and after wards WHY he did not get what he wanted.
Manju would get him all the way into McDonald’s an if he erupted in bad behavior or cried she would drag him out and start all over again at home!
If MOST parents put 1/10th that effort into ANY child they would see great and amazing things. Simply saying NO when appropriate instead of living like you need to be accepted or friends with your child truly changes THEIR future…and your happiness about who they become.
So, a shout out to the Manju’s of the world! She is not alone in her hard work to do what is best and she drive right past McDonald’s without a peep these days and occasionally when her son asks,”Momma can we get some fries from McDonald’s” she say,”Yes” and they do!