Letter to the mother of a bully

Hello PVBIA Momma Readers,

This is one of my kinder letters to a mom of a bully.  Her son has tormented dozens of kids at my sons school.  He is so awful my daughter (who rarely bothers with the goings on around her) was dreading this school year because he is in her class.  I have changed the names not to protect the innocent because I do not believe they are as any parent who allows bad behavior unchecked is far from innocent but to protect me legally.  I did change a word or two as when I wrote it yesterday I must have been so on fire I could not think as clearly.  I totally believe that unchecked this child will cause serious damage to the emotional maybe even physical welfare of another child.  I also really doubt this is the only blog written about him moreover as his phone number is not in the school directory this year I doubt it’s the first time a parent has cried fowl to this incredibly stupid family.  Please consider teaching your children tolerance and acceptance as intelligence seems to be innate.

Hi Inattentive Parent,

I hope this email finds you okay.

I was ambivalent about emailing you but believe you should know that “Mean Kid” has really bullied Bird quiet a bit over the years.

He was so over the top mean to Bird at The Edge that other parents called me to tell me that the staff asked “Mean Kid” (while he has kept out of the game for abusive behavior) why he needed to scream at Bird and he replied because he is to stupid to understand if you don’t yell.  Bird is not stupid just for the record.

I wanted to email you because there is a great class this Thursday and Friday on Managing Problem Behavior that I will be going to for a 5th time. The info is here www.poac-nova.org and it has been helpful in our lives raising a son with autism.

When I read this article today http://www.greatschools.org/parenting/bullying/6317-bullying-school-movie.gs
I thought about you and how badly you might feel if a child were to hurt themselves because of the awful way “Mean Kid” treats others that he does not deem them worthy; this being so many kids.

The fact that he targets my son with autism just makes him one of many but the way he does treats him tells me you could change his behavior.

I believe this class will help your son.

Having dedicated the last 8 years getting my son simply to speak, comply and attempt, create and maintain friendships tells me that you and your family could actually help your typically developing son be less demeaning, aggressive, confrontational and judgmental of other kids.

I would really hate to see you on TV one day telling the world you did not know your son was so abusive or that it was an isolated incident of hazing or that you are deeply sorry to the parents as I have no doubt your aware of what he is doing.

I really hope you join me in the class this Thursday with Tom Caffrey.  I can’t believe that you enjoy knowing that children are sad about the way your son treats their them as I remember how kind his older sister is and I really hope you take action.

This quote has kept me working hard with my kids when I am at my wits end and I hope it speaks to you as well.
” If you bungle raising your children, I don’t think whatever else you do well matters very much. ”  Jackie Onassis



Cheers and be good to their kids perhaps it will set the example.





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